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through the viewfinder of mental health

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Guess who got Korean skincare stuffs in the post today 😍❤️ thank you @bbcosmetic_official @yesstyle amazing service! #kskincare #daughter #skincare #motherdaughter #beauty #selfcare #CutenessOverload #koreanskincare

Why do we get suicidal? Well here's one reason. Thanks for declaring someone with Bipolar, CPTSD and BPD traits aok to work, Dutch government, despite not listening to me, not bothering to contact my own doctors, using a report from over a year ago, kicking me out of the benefits programme and wrecking mine and my family's life. My daughter could end up without a mother. I'm so fucking over governments and so done with being at their utter mercy. Slow fucking clap, world #mentalhealth #mentalillness #suicide #suicideawareness #realrecovery

National fireworks display from our balcony. Fooking loud tonight 😂 #rotterdam #erasmusbrug #newyears #fireworks

If you can't get to a NYE disco make your own! . Daddy was in hospital today yet again for his stomach ulcer. Another quiet Christmas and New Year for us. But my girl wanted a party and she hates the Dutch firework bonanza so we cranked the music up high and danced and sang very loudly for a few hours. I may have had a cheeky bottle of fizzy rose but you know what my 2019 motto is? . Fuck It All. Those voices telling me no can go fuck themselves. I'm going to have fun and enjoy life and if I want to drink wine and dance around my living room with a swirly dress on who the fuck is going to stop me? Fuck you Bipolar and CPTSD. 2019 and forever. Happy New Year all ❤️ . #fuckit #mentalhealth #mentalhealthblogger #mentalhealthdiary #realrecovery #recovery #mentalhealthwarrior #selfcare #healing #bipolar #cptsd #PTSD #2019 #daughter #daddy #father #newyearsresolution #newyears #mother #motherdaughter #motherhood #maternalmentalhealth

This is to remind myself that on days like today when I have a major crash, there are things worth living for. . #realrecovery #mentalhealth #recovery #maternalmentalhealth #bipolar #cptsd #PTSD #mother #motherdaughter #motherhood #daughter #parenting #anxiety #holycrapthatwasstressful #panicattack

Redecoration is a loooong process in this house (2 years and still going) but we have at least nearly finished our bedroom where we all currently camp out. One of the things that's always really distressed me is that my daughter's clothes were kept in this crappy broken drawer and no matter how often I rearranged it they always ended up a mess. Also trying to locate my own clothes in boxes still two years after moving just added to my state of frustration and uselessness. We didn't have the energy to reorganise, my husband has been so ill and I am terrified of spending anything should it leave to another spree which will bankrupt me. . But just before Christmas, when I went to get her toy kitchen from IKEA, something in me snapped. My brain started to function again, wondering if there were cheap solutions to clothes storage while we saved up and bought her nice furniture for her new room. Of course there are, right? I mean it's IKEA after all. For two years I'd been trapped in this brain fog of hopelessness and despair. My daughter deserves better. . So I thought fuck it and went and bought a clothes frame for €13 and some hangy shelves made of some synthetic material for a further €10. Here's the result. I built them myself and I'm right now in the middle of putting all her clothes away neatly. In fact we like them so much we're going to buy another hanging frame this afternoon and have a family evening out at IKEA 😁 This is a before shot and when I'm done sorting out all of us I'll share an after. . What hurt but was also the most satisfying was my daughter's excitement at having her clothes neat and accessible. This guilt is never-ending but also better late than never. Being poor is hideous and nothing puts you into poverty faster than poor health. But there are ways to get around it which leave you all happy and not feeling like the crappest parent in the world. That I'm even able to apply myself to this is a sign of recovery. It's incrimental. . #mentalhealth #motherdaughter #mother #motherhood #daughter #parenting #bipolar #cptsd #PTSD #recovery #realrecovery #mentalhealthdiary #maternalmentalhealth #poor

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3999 Mission Boulevard,
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